Spoiler alert. I Saw the new Thor movie this weekend.
I went in with high expectations. There are a lot of really pretty people in in that film. The special effects and art direction are very cool. It’s even got Stan Lee in a cameo role!
But that doesn’t hide that fact that it’s a one-hour movie delivered in a two hour package. I started checking my watch forty-five minutes in, which was also about the time I started yawning. It’s the only movie I can remember going to where it seemed like half the audience had to get up in the middle of to go to the bathroom.
Since I’m generally pretty easy to please, I tried to figure out why it was so boring. I mean, there was a plot, and plenty of explosions and action, but it just didn’t work for me. The characters never really seemed to connect to each other. During all the biggest action scenes, its was almost as if the cast just stood around and watched the action.
When the Malekith attack, the camera focuses on the big baddie and Thor; while Loki and girlfriend Jane just sit there and watch with ‘concerned’ expressions on their faces. When the giant space ship of the Dark Elves lands in London, the only people in the entire city seem to be in the library, and they all run to the windows to watch Thor. No screaming; no awe for a the giant friggin’ spaceship that just landed! And when the giant ship is destroyed, there isn’t a single human being or car in the area. Almost like it happens in a vacuum. There’s no tension, and its deadly dull.
There’s a lesson there. Whether the story is on the page or on the screen, you can’t have the cast standing around watching the action. Every action must generate responses and reactions in all the affected characters. If you’re part of an invading alien force, you invade; you don’t stay on board the ship and wait for someone to blow it up. And if the love of your life is getting his ass whupped, you don’t just stand there; you do something.
At least the popcorn was good.